Disclaimer-I don’t claim to have it all together. My life is a journey with one goal to press on believing the God who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. I have to cling to knowing that my past had a reason and that my today will have an eternal impact. I could give you a list of people who might testify that I impacted them in a negative way. Yes, a list of people whom my words have wounded them. And I call myself a Christian. Well, actually I rarely call myself that. But it is my faith. It is what saved my soul from despair. Yet it didn’t make me to never fail. I know in my head the only perfection is in Jesus. Then there is the fear in my heart. A fear that has kept me from being real. The real where I literally go to the depths with others beyond superficial. Like not protecting myself by hiding behind my church mask. Here is the deal. For any reading this that might be afraid to go to church I understand that. There are a lot of things in the bible that I don’t always obey. If those like me who claim to be Christians obeyed more of how Jesus taught us to love one another, then I think you would be running to find that on Sunday morning. To every fear there is a flip side. I read in a book called The Papa Prayer that the flip side to fear is desire. I desire relationship, deep connection, and to be valued. You may desire these things or others unique to you. Only God can satisfy those. However, please note that God has loved on me through some amazing imperfect Christians after planting me in this foreign land of the south. Yet, even at church my fear of rejection keeps me from being my true self. And then the ugly cycle of protecting myself begins again. How about we put away our church masks and start walking this road together, not as perfect, but simply redeemed?
