Giving March 17, 2011

My mom had to start taking things out of the box. These were things we needed. I wanted to give everything we had to the Ronald McDonald House. This has been my whole life. I want to give my hair. That is in honor of the woman who gave me life that fought kidney cancer for 5 months. I want to give away my bone marrow, but have to wait for a call from the registry. Working in dialysis I want to give away my kidney. Which I am pretty sure I got confirmation in my soul that I need to keep it until family or a dear friend needs it. But there are times when I want to sign up and give it to a complete stranger. There is someone I know who wants my washer. And I wish I could give it to him today. But I need to know I have money to purchase a new one. I constantly want to give away things. It has always been this way even when I tried to change so I wouldn’t hurt. In the bible though there is this part that says All have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. I sin by getting angry when people take, take, take. To truly have a real relationship there has to be giving and take. I know who in my life has invested in me and who has just taken all they could until I was dry and empty. What I am learning is that I have to keep giving if God tells me to. And be wise when making decisions, including  relationship expectations. I can think of a person right now who I have known for 8 years. I have given a lot, and they have invested little into me. There was a time where I got angry. Now I know though that when I give to have little expectations he will give back. I am just giving because it is a part of me and I love to do it. Then there are friends who I know invested in me. I spend most of my time towards them not worrying about the others. Because the truth is relationships have seasons. As I get older I become more aware of who I am and who I want to surround myself with. It has not been an easy journey. It has been worthwhile though.

Thanks for listening,

Tracie

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