Somewhere in between divorce, and cancer and more loss than most people my age I lost who I am. Not to blame anyone because God has an ultimate plan for each of us. Truthfully looking back is much easier than going through. Comfortably my coping skill has been to hide. But I don’t want to, because I want to live, and live well(healthy). So I am on a journey to find and show the world the real me. It is really hard because I am afraid if they see it they may not like it. And fear makes me go back to unhealthy patterns like running or hiding. Throwing up walls around my heart to protect from hurt. Like the hurt that if the world doesn’t like the real me they will leave. Some of you may not have this fear. But see I already have had enough people leave me. And significant people that I have loved deeply.
So this doesn’t sound very Christianese, but World This is Me…take it or leave it.
But God knows I am continuing to grow, and plans to make me into they very best in His eyes.
If you want to be a part of my journey, I would love that. If not, I am learning to say goodbye with head and chin up, heart open knowing I will be okay.
Because the creator of this earth promises in His word(bible) to never leave me or foresake me.
Still vulnerable, loving, and giving up my running shoes,
Tracie
Tracie! This is beautiful! I didn’t know you were such a wonderful writer! I am so proud of you and you seem more free than ever! I love you so much!
Nicki-My mom was a great at writing too
Your words lifted me up, and made my day! I was thinking freedom too after I published this blog. Much love!