Recently I had surgery and my incision got infected. Taking strong antibiotics was rough for me. Looking at the outside of my incision I really thought it was not healing. To be honest I never remember having a wound that needed antibiotics. When talking with an amazing woman and friend on the phone her words of wisdom stuck with me: “Honey, it takes more time for something to heal from the inside out.”
And… I thought about that in reference to my emotional wounds. My circumstances in life have wounded me. God has given me a heart to desire healing in my life. I have even referenced the healing of my emotional wounds to the healing of a physical scar. You know the pain of when you poor water into a cut, that sting? That is what it feels like to me when I am being healed from an emotional wound. Yet, some wounds are deep, deep enough where they need to be healed from the inside out.
What happens with that? You may take antibiotics that make you feel sick before you feel better. You see a pus, gross I know, but drainage and puss come out of the wound. AND it takes time, more time than I thought to heal a wound from the inside out.
This was a big revelation for me because some of my emotional wounds need more deep healing than I have thought or allowed. Honestly I have been looking for a bandaid to place over them because I don’t want to see the nasty puss come out or feel the yuck of the healing like that of taking antibiotics. I want to be cured quickly and carry on with life like “normal” people. Bandaids work for a while, but then they fall off. Or we have to rip them off. And people can then see our wounds. We are exposed. Interestingly enough tearing off a bandaid makes the deep wound bigger and deeper. Huh…
At first the bandaid looks like the best option. Eventually the deepest of wounds will be uncovered. For me, the deep wound healing at this moment is the lies I believe because of my past. Lies like I am not loved, I am not of worth, I am not good enough, people don’t like me, no one wants to hang out with me. I was looking to be healed from the outside in, wanting my circumstances or people to change. My bandaid is being ripped off as I see the extent of bondage in my life because of the lies I believe and wounds still unhealed.
Today I can be thankful for the amazing healing God has already done in my life. A lot of puss and drainage has been removed from emotional wounds in my heart. Do I still look for the quick and easy bandaid route sometimes, yes? When I let God heal me from the inside out it is difficult. It is hard and messy. But real healing happens when I surrender to those famous words, “sit in the pain.” How do I know? Because I have experienced it and have been amazed at the work of God in my life. I want to be restored and redeemed to what the Lord created me to be. So… I think I will pass on the bandaids!
