Disclaimer-I don’t claim to have it all together. My life is a journey with one goal to press on believing the God who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it. I have to cling to knowing that my past had a reason and that my today will have an eternal impact. I could give you a list of people who might testify that I impacted them in a negative way. Yes, a list of people whom my words have wounded them. And I call myself a Christian. Well, actually I rarely call myself that. But it is my faith. It is what saved my soul from despair. Yet it didn’t make me to never fail. I know in my head the only perfection is in Jesus. Then there is the fear in my heart. A fear that has kept me from being real. The real where I literally go to the depths with others beyond superficial. Like not protecting myself by hiding behind my church mask. Here is the deal. For any reading this that might be afraid to go to church I understand that. There are a lot of things in the bible that I don’t always obey. If those like me who claim to be Christians obeyed more of how Jesus taught us to love one another, then I think you would be running to find that on Sunday morning. To every fear there is a flip side. I read in a book called The Papa Prayer that the flip side to fear is desire. I desire relationship, deep connection, and to be valued. You may desire these things or others unique to you. Only God can satisfy those. However, please note that God has loved on me through some amazing imperfect Christians after planting me in this foreign land of the south. Yet, even at church my fear of rejection keeps me from being my true self. And then the ugly cycle of protecting myself begins again. How about we put away our church masks and start walking this road together, not as perfect, but simply redeemed?
Six Quirky Things February 4, 2008
I think I was tagged for this by Mandy? I am still trying to figure this all out.
1. I like to control the amount of junk food I eat by eating in even numbers, not with chips, but like when I eat cookies or candies I do this. (I was at a conference where we had to turn around and share a quirk with the person behind us, the lady said she sleeps on the couch when she doesn’t want to wake her husband up, which is that a quirk? So needless to say when I shared this I felt like an idiot).
2. I have a pattern with how I shower- first shampoo, then washing my face, then shaving- not everyday, then conditioner, then body wash.
3. I don’t eat messy foods- sloppy joe, ribs for example.
4. I brush my teeth in the middle of the day if I need to feel awake.
5. I wear socks to match my shirt for example red shirt, black pants, red socks.
6. I am disgusted by boogers, snot, it makes me sick, I can’t stand to see them when people don’t blow their noses right and it hangs out.
Did You Know About Me? November 16, 2007
Here are 3 random things about me you may not know:
1. I taught Aerobics in college. I actually took a class on how to teach aerobics… okay, who does not love PE classes? I forgot if they were called PE. No I think they had a fancy name. Anyways, my last summer in college before graduating I taught aerobics and step aerobics. I still have the music I used. Using the fun microphone was my favorite. The challenge was when the microphone did not work and I had to yell… me, yell? That was a hoot!
2. I worked in a diesel factory for 2 summers. How did I come to do that might you ask? My dad is a machine repairman in a diesel factory so that’s how I got hooked up with that. I was a part of making diesel engines. Little ol’ me with the big machines. I got made fun of a good amount all in fun of course:) Yep, me and a bunch of middle age and older men, in a diesel factory. Here is my proof:
But I really miss it… my fav memory? You see it was not a moving line I worked on. The engine would come to my station on a moving cart after the person before me finished their part. Well it took me a while to get used to those big tools especially the huge torque machine that hung from the ceiling! There is this one time I thought it was going to lift me up in the air. That machine got me made fun of a lot because I could never get the darn thing to line up with the bolts! But that is not my fav memory.
One day I decided to use the hooky thing that lifted up the big diesel parts for me. Usually strained my back so I could keep up with the people who had been there for 30 years. The big hooky thing was safer for me but slower. So back to the hooky thing. I thought I was going to get fired when I heard the loud kaboom of… I didn’t know because I was facing the other way headed to the bathroom! I had forgot to put the hooky thing back where it belonged and after I pushed the button for the cart to move forward the hooky thing caught onto the cart and away went the diesel parts. I am not going to say what went on in my mind, the words I thought, but I am pretty sure you can imagine. When I turned around I realized the mess I had caused and tried to run and fix it. That is a good lesson… some messes are not safe to run after and fix. Thank God for safety buttons! And like a girl I started crying. No worries I didn’t get fired:)
3. I was able to go on an improv stage and represent one of my homies from D-town… Eminem. Yes, thanks to a very extroverted friend of mine who volunteered me to go up there as a birthday present! Really Eminem now lives in the same area where I grew up near my high school. His old house in D-town (8 mile) which is a shack sold for millions. So needless to say I know some about him, but me, act like a rapper?… no way! Whose Line Is It Anyway does the skit where you are a guest at a party and you have to act out who you are until they guess it! Like that show they told me to act like Eminem and I about died. So… don’t remember much of the details because it was traumatizing. For those who want to know more I have people that were there who would love to act it out for you!
Sometimes I volunteer and sometimes I am just plain kinda forced to go out of my comfort zone…
